EXTREME MAKEOVER
The American Way
By John Q. Pridger
America has become a nation of extremes. It's a nation
of not only conspicuous over-consumption, but extreme waste – a
throw away economy – where even the extremely poor families generate huge piles of
trash and garbage that have to be trucked off to huge land-fills on a regular
basis. We have
extremely wealthy people, and an extremely affluent upper middle class who waste
a lot more than the poor. We have
extreme levels of indebtedness at the national and personal level. We have
extreme sports, extreme this, or extreme that – all televised.
There is no
better leading economic indicator, nor evidence of the state of our economic
culture than the TV program called "Extreme Makeover." The theme of the program is
a take-off of the Good Fairy story, "helping a needy and deserving family" into a better home, which sounds
like a pretty worthy idea. It is, of course, from the standpoint of the families
that apparently get a new house for free – presumably, compliments of the
program producers. But it's something
that could only happen in America – we hope – for the program is a
literal celebration of American extravagance, waste, and stupidity.
"Extreme Makeover" isn't a
"Habitat for Humanity" type of program, where a new house is built for a poor
family from the ground up, on a vacant piece of ground. It's a search, destroy,
and rebuild program – somewhat like our war policy, but without the killing
and maiming.
In this program a perfectly sound family dwelling that has
perhaps been poorly maintained and in need of repair is totally razed to the
ground and a completely new structure built in its place. In the two cases where
Pridger happened to see the program, the houses involved were not tumbled down
old shacks worthy of demolition, but typical suburban style houses that would
cost anywhere from $30,000.00 in a depressed urban or rural area, to $500,000.00
in the urban Southern California coastal regions.
Pridger doesn't know exactly how the families and dwellings
are chosen by the program producers. Apparently the families are somehow
determined to be poor or needy, and their home somewhat inadequate to their
needs. Perhaps the house has fallen into some degree of disrepair because the
family is economically disadvantaged and the man of the house (if it has one),
isn't particularly handy. Maybe it has only two or three bedrooms when four or
five were needed, or it only had one or two bathrooms where three or four are
needed. Perhaps the roof had sprung a leak and nobody had bothered to fix it, or
the plumbing was going bad.
The first time Pridger happened upon the program, he thought
"Extreme Makeover" was going to mean the total renovation of an
existing house – taking it down to bare walls – or maybe even to bare studs
– and essentially making a new house out of an older one, perhaps with an
appropriate addition of floor space and other amenities desired, such as more
bed or bath rooms, a deck, patio, or "Florida room" – maybe even a
swimming pool.
That would be extreme enough, since the subject houses didn't
appear to be in that poor a state of repair. He was shocked and appalled,
however, to see that a perfectly good house – one that would be considered a
mansion to a truly poor family – was totally demolished, relegating all the
materials to the land fill! What an extravagant celebration of American Style
super-waste! This, apparently, for the benefit of one needy family and a few
million TV viewers.
This is the American Way – the way of extremes. Rather than
fixing the house up, or even "rebuilding it" using as much of the old
structure as possible, the houses were totally wasted and completely new
materials used in building a new house. The program is educational in the
extreme – and it tells us a whole lot that we really shouldn't be all that
proud of.
Our first major nation lesson in this sort of waste was
perhaps Sherman's famous march to the sea and the wholesale destruction of the
Civil War. We then engaged in even more destructive wars in World War One and
Two. Totally destroy and then rebuild anew at astronomical cost! America can do
it! If it can work in war, why shouldn't it work in peace too?
We actually consider it "more economical" to raze
and build something new than to maintain, repair, or renovate. Why have an old
house or commercial building when a new one will do just fine? Huge sound
buildings, not to mention ones of historical significance, are routinely razed
and replaced with totally new structures.
Banks would much rather loan money on a totally new structure
than to repair or renovate an old one. And we're told it's cheaper to burn, or
relegate to the landfill, thousands of dollars worth of perfectly good materials
and buy anew. Even in new construction on bare ground, the first machine on the
site is typically the bulldozer. Trees and irregularities in the landscape are
first totally obliterated. After construction, sod is trucked in for the lawns.
If trees are desired in the landscape, they are planted later.
Save the old homestead? Why would you want to fix up an old
house when a completely new one is so easy? Burn it or let it rot down, and
build a "modern" house instead!
Repair that grand old barn? No! Let it rot down and erect a
modern, metal-clad, warehouse style barn! The bank will gladly loan more than
enough money on the new construction, but will probably tend to be stingy on
loaning money to save and renovate. The bankers always prefer a big mortgage on
new improvements – the bigger the better. If you tend to be sentimental or
nostalgic over traditional buildings, or old Americana, go to a museum, national
historic site, or theme park! Admission fees are generally reasonable.
Save that grand hundred year old courthouse? No! Tear it down
and build something more appropriate to the times! A big brown brick box, for
example. Save Main Street and the historic shopping district around the square?
No, let the corporate chains build anew with modern shopping malls out on the
highway! Main Street and the square need more parking space and the county badly
needs a new jail! Times have changed!
This is what happened in Pridger's home town, and the new
regional jail is the crown jewel of the city. Even Pridger admits that the jail
is much more attractive than the "new" courthouse. The square and
traditional shopping district is now now the incarceration and banking center.
Shopping is conducted out on the "strip" where there is even more
parking space. But if you can't afford a car and the gas to run it, you live on
the wrong planet.
The grand and ornate old bank building has had an extreme
face-lift, and now resembles a new building of straight clean modern lines and
plenty of glass – and parking where several businesses once thrived. Three
dozen locally owned businesses have been replaced by two banks and a jail, each
with ample parking. The city's commercial area continues to spread like a fast
acting cancer, out on the highway – almost all corporate chains, milking the
community of its money. Amazingly, businesses somehow continue sprout and grow
– and the businesses miraculously thrive, even as the population declines and
the real economy of the area withers. Where does all the money come from? That's
a good question. Obviously, it must be imported, like most of the merchandise in
the WalMart store. The town has undergone an "Extreme Makeover," in
the tradition of the TV program – as if that program's producers had come to
town and had a literal field day.
Conspicuous over-consumption, spectacular waste, and
amazingly high debt ceilings, heroically raised by Congress itself! Enjoy it!
This is America folks! We can do anything – including do a extreme makeover in
Iraq and Afghanistan. The mortgage payments may be a little high, but it's all
worth it, if we can only get the whole world to live and behave just like us!
Monday, May 9, 2005